By Well, here I am, looking all foolish and shit. I was naïve to think that maybe, just MAYBE this would be the year I wouldn’t have to sit down and write this but then the world was like, nah bro, we’re going to be a-holes.
I also was silly to think that if I just re-shared my 2018 edition of this post that it would be enough but I’m realizing as I type this, I should develop this whole thing into a series of TikToks so that way they people that are being the true a-holes at HHN this year will see it (I’m looking at you Generation Alpha… which is what they are apparently called and I hate it).
You’ll likely find some inconsistencies throughout this but mostly grammatical. For instance, I have no idea if it’s scareactor or scare actor and spell check hates both of them. Also, at this point, this entire post is a Frankenstein’s monster of all the year’s I’ve sat down to write this. You’ll get over it but I just want you to know that I know that things are a bit messy and I just don’t care.
OH YEAH, THE DISCLAIMER: There may be some foul language. I can’t be sure because I am just starting to write this but who the hell knows where it’s going to lead. Just in case I go off on a rant that includes foul language- you’ve been warned. If I don’t end up using foul language, I apologize for wasting your time on this lengthy disclaimer. I mean, now I feel obligated to swear. I might just throw a random “FUCK” in there at some point for you.
It has become apparent from what I have been seeing on Twitter that the ass-clowns are out in full force this year and I find myself once again compelled to share some nuggets of wisdoms for anyone planning on stepping foot onto the hallowed grounds of this sacred event.
Parents: Either Accompany Your Goblins to the Event or Leave them at Home
Yep, this is going to get me some hate mail but I really don’t care. Parents needs to stop just dropping their teens off places and letting them run amuck without proper supervision. I’ve has encounters with teens lately that have boggled my mind and I’m seeing it happen at Horror Nights as well.
From personal experience, I stopped a teen from riding his skateboard indoors while I was at work. I very kindly asked him to stop and he just stared at me as if I was a complete moron. I think that he thinks that he was intimidating me but it wasn’t working. I finally asked, “do you understand what I just said or do I need to call security and have them explain it to you?” That finally got his attention.
The lack of respect that I’ve experience from teens over the past few months while at work, I’ve seen in the parks as well during Halloween Horror Nights. They just don’t give a shit and don’t understand that actions have consequences. Worse, is that a lot of them are pulling these stunts for internet clout, recording interactions with security guards or (in the case of HHN) scareactors for the sake of posting them to whatever platform they think will get the most likes.
Where are their parents in all of this? Who the hell knows. While CityWalk has enacted a curfew for minors, it would seem that this hasn’t translated to the theme parks. Sure, they can’t get into CityWalk at all after 9pm but that’s more than enough time to get in and into the event before curfew.
Even then, there’s still nothing stopping parents from bringing their kids in and leaving them to their own devices.
Parent, I’m sorry. You need to do better. You kids are harassing, accosting, and abusing the staff and performers at this event. It’s a problem and it needs to stop. If you plan to let your teens and tweens attend this event, you had better plan to stay with them. Otherwise, please don’t be surprised when they end up with bans from the park and possible charges pressed against them.
What You Call Content, We Call Evidence
I did touch on this above but I would like to expand- all of you complete morons who are acting like total asshats and recording it for internet clout (harassing scaractors, attacking scareactors, sneaking up on scareactor— basically being a complete douche-nozzle to performers) and then posting it- thanks! You’d not only made it easier to identify you but have hand delivered the evidence needed should someone wish to press charges.
I can’t, honestly, understand this trend of acting a fool or harassing people trying to do their jobs in exchange for a few likes on social media. You’re not going to become the next big thing for acting like an asshole.
I don’t have anything else to say to that other than knock that shit off. Or if you’d like to explain to me what the advantages are of this behavior, please hit the comments because I’m honestly having a really hard time understanding it.
Turn Off Your Damn Flashlight/Camera Flash
Yes the scarezones are dark and scary. That’s the point. Having your flashlight on is painfully irritating to performers and messes up their ability to see what they are doing, especially since they are relying on their night vision to be able to do their job.
Now, as a photographer I can understand the frustration of the lighting in the scarezones but I also know how terrible flash looks in these photos.
How does it look Josh?
Fucking terrible. Don’t bother.
When I realized what a pain low-light photography was, what did I do? I did some research online and bought a low-light lens and learned how to photograph in the dark without a flash. It’s highly frustrating and hard but it’s worth it.
While we are on the subject of taking pictures…
Scare Actors are Not Your Personal Models
One of my biggest pet peeves are the photographers that I see taking up scare actors time by posing them all over the place to get pictures.
Newsflash.
They are not models, they are actors doing a job.
Personally, I thrive on action photos and prefer that actors keep doing their thing. If they slow down for a brief moment or linger a little bit longer for me then that’s on them. I have never and will never ask an actor to pose for me.
In the interest of full disclosure I have, on occasion, advised friends to “move towards the light”.
In a “I need more light so I don’t use flash like an asshole” was not a “time to move on from this world” sort of way… in case that wasn’t clear.
Keep Your Damn Hands to Your Own Damn Self
During the 2015 run of Halloween Horror Nights the actress playing Carrie in the Drive-In Scare Zone had to resign midway through the run because she was constantly being assaulted by guests. Even after increasing security in the zone, including OPD, people still felt the need to put their hands on her.
In 2018, a performer in the Killer Klowns from Outerspace was attacked and beaten by a group of teenagers. More of a reason why kids shouldn’t be allowed in. At all. Ever.
My point?
DON’T TOUCH THE ACTORS
Even to get their attention.
Keep your hands off.
They aren’t allowed to touch you. You’re not allowed to touch them. That’s how this game works.
They have a job to do. If you’d like to ask them for a photo, wait until they are looking at you and ask politely. If they say yes, be quick. If they say no, then don’t be a jerk about it. There’s a good chance, they’ve been instructed by their management not to pose for photos. Sometimes this is because other people have ruined it for others (refer to the above photographers taking up time posing actors).
Don’t get pushy. Don’t be a jerk. They are following the rules.
You should too.
Let’s Just Pretend the Event is 13+, honestly 18+, even more honest- people should have to take a damn IQ test
Can we take a moment to discuss parents that brings their small children to the event and how terrible they are? I’m sorry, it drives me insane.
I see it all too often every year- kids that are clearly terrified and don’t want to be there, and parents forcing them along.
I know there are no age restrictions on the event but let’s use some damn common sense people.
For more on this please see my post: A Parent’s Guide To Halloween Horror Nights
Honestly, as I write/revise this whole post, I’m starting to believe the event should just be 18+. I know and understand that this will never happen but the fact that cameras have been added to houses and the constant reports of teenage goblins harassing performers and staff- that CityWalk curfew should become an event curfew and when it comes to HHN, no one under 18 should be allowed in without an adult and must be accompanied at all times. Teens found without their guardian should be immediately removed and not allowed back in no matter what.
Sound harsh? You did this to yourselves. (I say that like I have any power of this… if only I did, it’s be over for all of you)
KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS TO YOUR OWN DAMN SELF: Part 2
About mid-way through this 2017’s HHN run, a performer in the American Horror Story house was roundhouse kicked in the face.
Roundhouse.
Kicked.
In.
The.
Face.
I’m sorry, that is not a normal human reaction to being scared. You have to be a special kind of asshole to do something like that.
Another performer in The Shining house was punched so hard she was sent to the hospital with a concussion and could no longer perform for the run.
Another actress in American Horror Story was punched in the face.
Sensing a theme here?
Don’t be an asshole and keep your damn hands to yourself.
If your fear reaction is violence then maybe you should stay at home.
Three Words: Designated. Smoking. Area.
For some stupid reason people seem to think that just because the sun has set, the whole world is their smoking area.
Nope. We’re still in a theme park. Rules still apply. You can’t just smoke anywhere.
Yet they do.
It’s 2018 and, I’m sorry, smoking is a damn dirty habit and we all know better. Yet for some reason, people will light up wherever they feel like it with little regard to those around them.
I’m including people that vape. It still smells gross and I don’t need that in my life.
Yes, I know lines get long but either get out of line to smoke or you’re going to need to wait. I had a guy in front of me in a line vaping and I got caught in the cloud and damn near threw-up. I was gagging and made a point to let this guy know that if I’m about to lose my pizza fries, it’s going to be on him and I would give zero fucks about it.
If you feel the need to slowly kill yourself, that’s on you. Second hand smoke is still harmful to the rest of us so stop being a jerk and wait until you’re in an appropriate area to smoke.
KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS TO YOUR OWN DAMN SELF: Part 3
It is 2018. If there is one thing that we’ve all become experts on, it’s sexual harassment/assault. In case you are uncertain, here’s a quick rundown:
Sexual assault is an act in which a person intentionally sexually touches another person without that person’s consent, or coerces or physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will. It is a form of sexual violence which includes rape (forced vaginal, anal or oral penetration or drug facilitated sexual assault), groping, child sexual abuse or the torture of the person in a sexual manner.
Are we all caught up? Good.
WHY HAVEN’T WE LEARNED THIS LESSON?!
This year seems to have brought out a special blend of douche-canoe as stories of sexual assault against performers and even staff of the event.
A witch in Scary Tales was groped and felt up. An actor playing a pig in the same house was grabbed in the crotch by a guest. The same for an actor playing Micheal Meyers in the Halloween house. The actor playing Steve in the Stanger Things house was pinned against a wall by a guests and forcibly made out with. A friend of mine who is a tech was on set fixing something while a house was open and a guest came up behind her and grabbed her chest.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
In no world is this kind of behavior okay. It is illegal. I’m not just talking getting kicked out of the event and trespassed from the park, I’m talking about police getting involved and you ending up with a record.
I honestly cannot, for the life of me, fathom what makes people think this is okay on ANY LEVEL.
I’m beyond mortified.
Leave the Scares to the Scare Actors
Do you have an overwhelming desire to run up behind people and scream at them and scare them?
GREAT!
Audition to be a scare actor!
Are you at Halloween Horror Nights and being paid to scare people?
GREAT!
DO THAT!
Are you are Halloween Horror Nights and NOT being paid to scare people?
No?
THEN STOP RUNNING UP BEHIND SCARE ACTORS AND SCREAMING AT THEM!
It is there job to provide the scares. If you don’t like that and you’re going to get upset and scream at them, then maybe this isn’t the event for you.
Actors have a job to do and they are concentrating hard on doing it. Don’t create and unsafe environment for them by screaming in their ears and running away. If you think this move is going to impress girls or your pre-pubescent friends, I can promise you, it’s not.
And so help me, if I see you do something like this and your escape route comes by me I’m tripping your ass and I can promise that witnesses will probably non-existent because NO ONE LIKES YOU. I don’t work here, you’re not getting me fired.
In Conclusion
There is still plenty of time to enjoy the event and in an effort to help others enjoy it as well, just follow the above rules and I promise it’s going to make life a hell of a lot easier for all of us. And feel free to follow this advice in all aspects of your life.
If that’s all too much to remember, then just remember this: STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE.
Did I forget anything? Anything I should take into consideration for the inevitable 2023 edition of this post? Let me know in the comments! Did you enjoy this post? Share with friends! Do you enjoy my nonsense? Click follow or subscribe by email!
That’s all.
Avoiding Neverland 