I Went to the Movies on a Friday Night and Learned That I’m Old

The inevitable has happened. I have become a cranky old man who just wants some damn peace and quiet. But, like, I’m still young and hip because I went out to the movies ON A FRIDAY! Yes, it was a 5:40pm showing but we are going to count it. I finally got around to seeing

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The Emotional Roller Coaster of Watching Easy-Bake Battle (Not for the Reasons You’d Think)

Antoni Porowski be warned, Nina has her matchmaker pants on! Also until last night, I had no idea who Antoni Porowski was. Because I’m a terrible gay… apparently. Last night I get a text from my friend Nina who was apparently watching Easy-Bake Battle on Netflix. I had no idea the show existed, primarily because

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The Gambler by Kenny Rogers and Other Things I Remembered While Showering

For someone with a laundry list of mental health issues, my brain has the uncanny ability to retain the weirdest shit but only launches it at me on its own twisted schedule. I will forget the name of someone who is standing right in front of me, who just moments before TOLD ME THEIR NAME

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I’m Really Not Going to Say “I Told You So”

I’ve found myself sharing this story a lot lately, so I thought I would write it down for the whole world to enjoy… by “the whole world” I mean the people who keep sticking around this blog despite the WILD inconsistency in my posting. In my defense, we did have a whole ass hurricane last

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I’ll Likely Never Run Disney Again

Just one quick scroll through my blog and you’ll see that I’ve been a big fan of the RunDisney races since I ran my first one back in 2014. My first race would turn out to be the final running of the Tower of Terror 10-Miler. A month later, I ran my first half marathon

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I Don’t Think I’m Allowed at the Vet Office Anymore

Remember like, a week ago, when I wrote about taking Lemon to the vet and making an ass out of myself with a cute vet tech? For a refresher you can visit the post: How Are You Still Single? Oh, That Makes Sense Well, I wrote that under the impression that all of my vet

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I’m Going to be Urban Legend-ed in a Mall Parking Lot Aren’t I?

This is the story of how I died. That might be a slight exaggeration of the events that unfolded but I’ll be honest, there was a moment of “holy shit, I’m about to become one of those fucking urban legends.” Let me set the scene. I decided to go see a movie after work because

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A Beginners Guide to Not Being an A-Hole at Halloween Horror Nights: 2022 Edition

Well, here I am, looking all foolish and shit. I was naïve to think that maybe, just MAYBE this would be the year I wouldn’t have to sit down and write this but then the world was like, nah bro, we’re going to be a-holes. I also was silly to think that if I just

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Turns Out I Don’t Mix Well With Others

As we may all recall from my recent posts, I recently went on a solo cruise AND I am terrible at talking to people. If you have no idea what I’m talking about I suggest you go back and catch up on the reading assignments from this week. (SEE: How Are You Still Single? Oh,

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I Made It Out Of My First Solo Cruise With All Of My Organs Intact

Well.. Remember, like, two posts ago when I was longing for my next cruise and I thought it wouldn’t be until January of next year? WE WERE ALL WRONG! I would turn out that cruises get REALLY cheap during the fall when all the kids go back to school. I ended up snagging a really

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