Scandal on the High Seas; or, My Perfect Day at CocoCay

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Y’all if you ever want to wildly scandalize an entire cruise ship from your fellow passengers right through the captain of the ship- you should skip out on visit CocoCay.

I should mention that I highly doubt that Captain Gus really cared whether I got off the ship in CocoCay but I’d like to believe it was true. I can tell you that our room attendant, server, bartender, activities director and literally every person we talked to on the second day of our cruise was VISIBILY UPSET about it.

I have been on four cruises in my life so far (I would really like that number to be higher but my bank account disagrees with that emotion).

UNRELATED: I’m in the market for one of those Sugar Daddy relationships where I literally have to do nothing but enjoy spending his money on me. Me on a cruise makes me happy. Me happy makes you happy. SEND ME ON MORE CRUISES!

UPDATE: I’ve been informed that there are actually apps and websites that you can use to match with a sugar daddy. If this isn’t the darkest timeline then it is the weirdest for sure.

RANDOM THOUGHT: Should I find one and sign up… you know… for the blog?

UPDATE: I’m honestly too afraid to search for that, I’m pretty sure I’m already on a number of FBI Watch lists…

My first time to CocoCay was back in 2018 when the island was under construction. This is when I was on the cruise with my sister. I think we lasted about an hour or so before we got bored, hot and sick of all the other people so we went back to the ship. On the 2019 cruise, we were scheduled to hit CocoCay but the ocean had other thoughts about that so we spent an extra day in Nassau.

If I’m being honest, we never would have gone in 2019 because our plan was to never leave ship.

So technically, I really haven’t been to CocoCay since 2018 doesn’t really count (according to other people) and obviously it just didn’t happen in 2019.

Cut to 2022 and my latest cruise and, much like in 2019, my plan was to never leave the ship. I guess this idea sounds insane to people but it is honestly my dream come true. When the ship is docked at port, everyone leaves, when everyone leaves, I HAVE THE SHIP TO MYSELF!

I’ve never been much of a “sit on the beach” person and I look at a cruise much like I look at visiting the theme parks- if I’m with someone who has something they absolutely want to do, I’ll do it. Otherwise, I’m perfectly content with keeping it simple.

On top of that, we weren’t the only ship at port in CocoCay that day so essentially double the number of people would be on the island while we were there. I’m not a people person so I really enjoyed just having the downtime on the ship with the few people that stayed behind as well.

I also don’t think people realize that there’s a good amount of things to do on the ship during port days. Trivia, art shows, workshops, etc. It is an absolute blast if you enjoy some downtime without the crowds.

Honestly now that I write that, I think I might take the time on my next cruise to be a decent blogger and write about all the things you can do on a cruise without leaving the ship.

Jesus, is this what it’s like to be a good blogger?

Fuck.

If you are wondering, I’m already eyeing some cruises for next year. My goal is for another journey at sea in January 2023. It’s likely going to be a solo cruise which I’ve never done before so if anyone has advice on cruising solo, I’m all ears. Whether it’s staying on the ship or exploring something in port. Might be fun.

Otherwise, I’m likely going to sit on the ship and work on my new book depending on where I’m at with it at that time.

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