If I had a dollar for every time I started and stopped this post there’s a good chance I would be out of any and all debt right now. Not for any real reason besides the fact that I have the attention span of a fruit fly at the best of times.
For anyone wondering why it took ten years for me to write a book, it’s mostly because between that first paragraph and me starting this one, twenty minutes elapsed because the TV is on. It’s not my fault Netflix just added the 5th season of Madam Secretary. I love this show.
If you haven’t seen it, it’s all on Netflix right now. Go watch it before season six starts. I’ll wait.
Ok my most recently distraction was learning that the show HAS been renewed for a 6th season but it’s going to be shortened and it will be the final one. Now I’m sad. This is not how I saw today going at all. I also forgot that Hilary Clinton makes a cameo in the 5th season premiere.
Today is a roller coaster.
This year has been a roller coaster.
I’ve been quiet as of late mostly because I have been insanely busy. Out of the 20 days in the month of June, I worked 26 of them. Sometimes just at one job, but most days at both. On top of that, I have been plotting my next moves in life, working towards not just closing the chapter on one part of my life, but the whole book.
I’ve found, in my life at least, every once and a while it feels like something is happening. I really don’t know how to explain it but it feels like something is coming. Maybe big things, maybe little things, but something. I feel re-energized and ready to take the world on.
Or maybe it’s just me coming out of depression. There’s also that.
I feel like I’ve been swimming in it so much these past couple years and it’s an ebb and flow of the feeling. Everyone one step forward leads to two steps back. Sometimes it’s more going backwards than forward. But these past few days, I’ve consistently felt good. Like good things are coming. Good things are happening. As a result, I’m excited and hopeful.
The trick is not to go to fast out the gate.
The past couple nights when I’ve gotten home and taken the time to relax, I’ve done a lot of thinking. One of the biggest things I’d like to do before this end of this year is really work to get myself back on track with so many of the goals that I have talked about for so long. I have been so excited about this, my temptation this morning was to spring out of bed and do it all!
But I didn’t.
I know me well enough. I tend to get a bunch of ideas in my head all at once and get really excited and then explode all over the place. From there, I get tired and overwhelmed and overloaded and nothing truly gets accomplished. That’s my cycle and I fully recognize that. That’s a big part of why I didn’t push myself this morning.
I know that creating or, in this case, rebuilding healthy habits, takes a lot of time. It doesn’t happen in one day.
A big part of what I thought about it what I would like to be able to work towards over this next month. Here’s what I’m hoping to get going for myself:
- Read for at least 30 minutes a day.
- Write for at least 30 minutes a day.
- Be active for at least 30 minutes a day.
These are the goals for July.
It seems small but given that I’ve been physically and mentally unable to accomplish any of these things lately, it’s a good place to start. This morning I was hoping to go work out but my body told me I needed sleep so I did that instead. Technically I’ve been writing for well over an hour mostly because I kept hating what I wrote for this post. So winning.
I also would like to find my bedroom floor at some point this month. I certainly will be making sure to work less. I finally feel like I’m in something of a place where I can take a breath and relax. I haven’t felt that way in some time but again… baby steps.
I am hoping to make sure I update a lot more than I have been lately. I know I’m going to end up falling short of my year goal of at least 100 posts. I mean, I say that now, a lot could happen in the next six months.
Time will tell.