Y’all there’s a very good chance that I have been marked for possible murder. There’s a better chance that I’m not but it’s all very strange and confusing but I suppose all of life is strange and confusing but we’re just going to roll with it.
I mean, sure I could explain my six month absence from the blog but that doesn’t seem interesting at all and frankly, I do that too often so let’s just accept that this is who I am as a person. Long time readers will understand. New readers won’t know the difference. My boss is probably sitting there, reading this and wondering why this is how I’m spending my time instead of doing that thing he asked me to do that I totally said I would.
BECAUSE IT’S YOUR FAULT I WAS TOO BUSY TO UPDATE MY BLOG KRIS AND NOW IT’S BEEN SIX MONTH AND MY FOLLOWERS ARE WORRIED ABOUT ME AND I’M UPDATING THEM ABOUT HOW I MIGHT GET MURDERED AT ANY MINUTE NOW AND I KNOW I SAID THAT I WOULD DO THE THING LAST NIGHT BUT I WAS STILL REELING FROM MY FIGHT WITH JESUS AND I WAS WORRIED ABOUT GETTING SMOTEN (or smitten? Or smot? Or whatever it is that God does when he’s pissed at you… that.) AND TONIGHT I WAS REALLY STRESSED ABOUT LOSING MY KRAMPUS AND I KNOW I MADE IT BETTER BUT IT WAS STILL A LOT TO DEAL WITH AND I JUST WANTED TO UPDATE MY BLOG INSTEAD OF DOING THE, PROBABLY, REALLY EASY THING I COULD HAVE DONE BEFORE DOING THIS BUT IT’S TOO LATE I’VE ALREADY STARTED WRITING AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME AND I’D SAY I’D GET IT DONE TOMORROW BUT I HAVE THAT CHRISTMAS THING AND THEN YOU WANT TO GO TO CHEESECAKE FACTORY SO MY NIGHT IS PRETTY BOOKED BUT I PROMISE I’LL MAKE A HALF HEARTED ATTEMPT AT IT THIS WEEKEND!
Of course now all my followers are like, oh you have a job now, we’d like to know more about that because last we knew you were still battling with unemployment and endlessly applying for things and never getting a job.
Yes, I’m now gainfully employed while also doing some contract work so life is good. It’s actually been really busy and there’s been lots of things I would have loved to write about but I was so busy I just never had the energy. And I considered writing a whole post about where I’ve been but I just figure I’ll slowly play catch-up over time and soon we’ll all know everything.
For now I’m really worried about being murdered… maybe…
So for the last week the light in front of my front door has been dim. Not out, but dim. Everyone else’s lights are like SUPER BRIGHT and mine is putting about as much effort into being a light as I am in doing that thing Kris asked me to do a month ago that I still haven’t done.
I occasionally walk around my complex after dinner to get some steps in and I did that to see what other lights look like and everyone’s front porch lights are just fine. My light, not so much. But also my neighbor across the hall is also super dim. So I think we’re both marked.
I wonder if she’s noticed.
I should warn her.
But I’ve also never spoken to her so that might seem weird. Me just knocking on her door and screeching out “BOTH OUR LIGHTS ARE DIM AND WE ARE DOOMED!”
I wonder if she’s noticed it’s just us as well. Maybe we both want to talk about it but we’re too afraid.
Maybe that’s what the murderer wants.
UNLESS the both of us are marked as safe from the murdering and everyone else is doomed?
But then what if the two of us are framed for the murdering?
I don’t know what to believe anymore. And, before you ask, I did take pictures of the difference between my light and another light but my damn phone camera auto corrected the lighting so they both look the same minus the shades of red in my light’s picture.
Not because it’s a murder light but because I also have an exit sign above my door.
So there you go.
Not a whole lot has changed, I’m still weird.
But I did write and release a book, ran a drive-thu Halloween event, and got a job in marketing after almost a year on unemployment due to the pandemic.
And I may be marked for death.
To be determined.