I Owe That Raccoon A Lot of Money

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If you would have told me at the beginning of 2020 that I would be spending an inordinate amount of time catching fish in order to sell them in an effort to pay back a massive home load to a raccoon—I would have wondered what the hell you were on and if you were willing to share.

Flash to May of 2020 and we’re in a whole new world.

I caved to some intense FOMO and joined the cult-like world of Animal Crossing: New Horizons. I’m just as shocked as the rest of you- totally not my scene but 2020 has been a raging dumpster fire so we might as well roll with it.

Now, before this year, I had never head of Animal Crossing. I mean, I’m sure I’ve heard it in passing but I’m not a big video game person so it wasn’t anything I would have invested any time in. This changed after the launch of New Horizons because suddenly all of my social media feeds were filled with questions about Turnips and people obsessing over heavily anthropomorphized animals.

I had questions.

I knew Ashley-Michelle and her roommates were obsessed with the game so when I went to visit them for a haircut, I asked for clarification on EVERYTHING about the game. They patiently answered my questions with great enthusiasm but I still wasn’t sold. I had been perfectly content spending my newfound free time watching Netflix and playing Candy Crush. Why mess with a good thing?

During my interrogation of the trio about the game, they mentioned one of their villagers was a bit of a bitch and they wanted to kick her off of the island. They mentioned that if I was playing I could come visit their village and help in their daily torment of her to make her leave.

Tempting…

At this point in the game, I was heading back to work so all thoughts on animals and their crossing left my mind. It was almost a week before I thought about it again. I messaged our group chat and asked about the bitchy mouse. She was still there. I joked about finding a Switch to buy so I could help drive the mouse away. I was met with a resounding, “DO IT.”

I had gotten some gift cards for my birthday and those bad boys were burning a hole in my pocket. I thought, ‘what the hell?!’ and went for it. Finding a Switch wasn’t easy since everyone and there brother was sold out. I ended up finding one at a GameStop an hour away. I ordered it online and set on a journey to go pick it up. This was in May when things were still pretty locked down- there was literally nothing else to be doing.

I rushed home with excitement to get started on my journey to harass a video game mouse.

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I got the hang of things pretty quick but there was a lot to lean. Thankfully a bunch of people I know were fans of the game and I was added to a Facebook group dedicated to nerding out about Animal Crossing. I’m so thankful for these folks because they were a BIG help in getting me started in the game, especially since I still had A LOT of questions.

Funny enough, the bitch mouse moved out before I had a chance to harass her.

This was fine because I had my own villagers to worry about now. And they were awesome enough to celebrate my birthday with me.

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It was extra sad because my birthday was the day after I started playing so my island was trash and nothing super special happened. Since we were still in lockdown it was nice to have someone to wish me happy birthday. I spent the day with my villagers eating sushi and drinking whiskey… that last part was in the real world in case that was unclear. Granted, if there was a way for my Animal Crossing character to sit on the beach with a handle of Jameson and drink while looking wistfully of into the distance…. I’m down.

I also got stung by a hornet so… that was fun. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWOLLEN FACE!

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And while I never did get to harass the mouse I’ve taken to yelling at the snot child that shows up every Sunday. Yes, she has an actual name but she’s a snot child and we all know it!

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Needless to say I’ve settled into the life of an Animal Crossing Islander and I’m fully addicted. Now that I’ve unlocked a number of things to do around the island, I’ve been working my butt off to create a nice island paradise.

It’s only sad because now all I want to do is talking about Animal Crossing to anyone who will listen. Thankfully a number of my co-workers play but a majority don’t and those folks are quite sick of listening to me talk about it….

BUT COME ON HOW CUTE IS SIMON!

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Yes, I’m aware I have a problem…

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