The Real World Is Less Fun Than I Remember

I’m back ya’ll!

Actually, I’ve been back since Friday but I made the terrible mistake of immediately going back to work. Lesson learned- take a damn extra day off when returning from a trip in order to readjust to the real world again.

The reality is that I work in the food-service industry and, unless you are management, you don’t get paid time off. So when we call out sick or take time off for a vacation, we don’t get paid for it. So I went back to work as soon as possible. I do also work for myself which yields the same thing. I take time off, I’m not working. I actually turned down a speaking engagement for this trip.

But I needed it. I needed to get away for a while because I was painfully burnt out and getting cranky.

I wear a lot of hats at work so while I was back to work on Saturday, I wasn’t back on the bar until Monday night which was a painfully slow night. We’re in the height of slow season so people trickled in here and there but nothing too exciting was happening. I was perfectly okay with it since it was my first night back on the floor. Last night was more of the same though a tad more steady and with a few interesting moments.

The warning sign of an odd evening came in the form of a really gross couple that shows up every once and a while. Normally they sit in the lounge so I see them but I never have to directly interact with them. Apparently, while I was on vacation they decided it was more fun to sit at the bar and repeated this move yesterday.

Now, I call them a gross couple because they are. The come in and order a couple drinks and they proceed to sit there, and drink, and grossly make out like a couple of horny teenagers. It is honestly disturbing and this is easily my least favorite thing in the world to have to see in any situation but mostly while I’m trying to work. I feel worse for people trying to enjoy their meals.

I’m all about cute little public displays of affection but when you’re full-on tongue kissing in a public, family restaurant situation, there is a special place in hell for you. The number of times we see this on a regular basis is mind-numbing. The worse was when I had a couple sitting dead center in the bar making out and the guy was visibly excited. It was gross. I’m confident I was the only one that could see anything which didn’t make it better because I still had to see it.

People are the worse.

I was thankful for a relatively calm evening last night because Tuesdays are my Friday. There were a few hiccups but that was mostly when the bar filled up around the same time I had a surge of To-Go orders coming in.

I’m great at multi-tasking but even I have limits. I didn’t reach the point of being completely overwhelmed but there were moments when I thought I might start screaming. This is what we in the business call being in the “weeds.” Basically it’s a term for being so overwhelmingly busy that we are falling behind in taking care of customers.  The perk of being on the bar is that your guests see how crazy you are since all of your work happens right in front of them, and they understand to a point. Thankfully everyone was great last night.

Until my last two guests.

Now. We close at a 11 and we take guests right up until close. As any business would. However, we will hate you for it. Especially when you sit down 10 minutes before close like my last guests did.

I hadn’t had anyone at the bar in almost an hour and I was ahead of the game when it came to my closing work and I was set to be walking out the door shortly after 11. I was counting down my drawer when I heard two barstools scrape the floor and turned to see two twenty-somethings sit down.

“What time do you guys close?”

I made a point to look at the clock above the bar and said, “11”

“Oh we made it just in time.”

That’s a great thing to say to make me extra hate you. Especially when there’s a restaurant right next door to us that is open until 2am.

They ordered beers which was extra annoying since I had just cleaned the well and pouring beer is not a clean act. You’re garaunteed to spill which means that all the work I just did to get it clean was for nothing. They ordered 2 for 1 beers so I couldn’t immediately clean it up or else I would have to do it again.

They ordered food and as I was ringing in the order I heard one of them comment, “we’re kind of assholes for ordering this late.”

I turned and gave them both a look that said “it’s not too late, you can pay your tab and leave and not order food from the kitchen and make me stand around waiting for you to eat and close out before I can leave.”

They didn’t take the hint.

Thankfully what they ordered came out fast and they ate quickly. I was still out the door at a decent time but it really bothers me when people actively know they are being the worst. I would never do that to anyone. It’s one thing to run into Target 10-minutes before close to grab some milk but another to walk into a restaurant where you know you’re going to be there past closing.

But alas, today is my day off and I’m getting some important stuff done. Like my taxes. I’m excited because for the first time in ten years I am doing my taxes well before the April deadline. Last year I procrastinated so hard I did my taxes in October.

Thankfully, last year I moved away from H&R Block which was costing me WAY too much money to get my taxes done. Note, I file a regular 1040 for my day jobs and a Schedule C for my speaking and blogging. All said and done, getting my taxes done was costing me around $500 a year.

Not cool.

Because I waiting so long to get them done last year I ended up using TurboTax. I was nervous but I am hyper-organized when it comes to keeping track of everything, I was used to what was needed to get my taxes done. TurboTax was beyond amazing and easy to use, I was kicking myself for not saving tons of money and using them sooner.

They also gave me a free year of QuickBooks and HOLY SHIT WHERE HAS THIS BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE?! Honestly, life saver and the only reason I’m ready this early to get my taxes done. The app is the best and is a dream come true. I wish I had been using it when I first started my own business. Now I know better.

Anyway. I have some fun stories from the cruise coming soon, I just need some time to finish processing and probably unpacking since I’m a slacker and still haven’t done that.