Feeling a Little More Human Again

I’ve been quiet this past week and for some great reasons I suppose. I’ve just been insanely busy. As it turns out, April is just going to be an insane month for me and I’ve already taken to warning people that if they haven’t planned time with me, they won’t get any until May.

The biggest thing for me this month has been working on my mental health and I’ve been putting a big focus on what I can do to feel better.

To catch everyone up, I’ve been in the grips of one of the worst depressions I have ever faced. In reality, it started in November and has been a problem ever since. I haven’t been myself, I’ve shoved people away and I have been completely miserable.

I don’t expect people in my life to know what’s going on. Depression isn’t a broken arm or a running nose. I get it.

I’m also a master at avoidance. So I’ve got that going for me.

April has seen things turning around. I’ve finally started feeling like an actual human being again. I’m not 100% but, damn it, I’m allowing myself to feel confident that I can see the light.

Earlier this month I hit Animal Kingdom with my friend Monica for a photo shoot.

I hadn’t been in the parks since February so just being there brought such a feeling of happiness. It was a crowded day so, sadly we didn’t get to do much theme park stuff. I think this is the first time in a very long time that I’ve been to Animal Kingdom and didn’t watch Festival of the Lion King.

We were going to but the crowds were too much and I was feeling super anxious about it all so jumping into a line wasn’t really in the cards for me. It was sad but we still had such an amazing day.

Now, I mentioned we were there for a photo shoot. After taking a break from Instagram, I decided it was time to get back in the same and start posting again and creating some new content was key. This meant putting myself in front of the camera for the first time in a while.

My self-image hasn’t been the greatest lately but I had a feeling this was what I needed on a number of levels and I was right. It was just plain fun to plan a shoot and get out there and just do it. I also knew that it was help inspire me to get my ass in gear with working out.

It worked.

I’ve managed to get myself more motivated to get working out and back to food prepping.

I certainly haven’t been perfect but I know what path I’d like to be on the remainder of the month and into the following.

We have our next shoot scheduled for early May just before my birthday. I’m hoping to see some real change. Will I been a Greek god? Probably not, but I’m going to feel better about myself.

I do have some other news to share but I’m waiting until next week to discuss it. We have the Dark Side Half Marathon coming up this weekend and Erica flies in on Wednesday night! It’s going to be a crazy couple week with a lot going on but I’m very excited to have and share some adventures.

More to come soon!