I Can Be My Own Damn Valentine


In my 32 years on this earth, I have only ever had one real Valentine and even then I can’t really count that.

You probably wonder what on earth I could mean by “real” and why I’m not counting it – I will gladly break it down for you.

Sophomore Year, High School: I’m dating a friend who I’m going to go ahead and call Kelsey because I’m not 100% sure I can use her real name in good conscience. At this point I very much know that I’m gay but have been dating a string of girls throughout this school year in an effort to cover it up. Kelsey and I break up roughly two seconds after Valentine’s Day and about a month later, I’m out of the closet. Please refer to my upcoming book for more details.


Sophomore Year, College: I have VERY recently started dating Ryder and Valentine’s Day was pretty much right there two days later. We both wondered if we should be doing anything to mark the occasion but weren’t sure because it had been like, a week. I ended up compromising by getting the most inappropriate card I could find because I’m me and that’s pretty much how I roll.

For more on how that relationship went, be sure to keep an eye out for my upcoming book.


Valentine’s Day 2015: (Spoiler alert, another name change occurring here) Sadly this is the one I consider “real” but only “real” and not real.

Don’t ask me to make sense of my life.

Darren and I had been dating for about five months and were spending our first Valentine’s Day together. I hadn’t been feeling well but I agreed to us spending the night together despite this. He got drunk and kept trying to push sex which I wasn’t in the mood for because I was sick. He took this rejection personally and turned into a crying basketcase.

So on top of not feeling well at all, I had to care for a drunk, sobbing man-child.

I broke up with him the following day.

He doesn’t show up in the book…


The last two years I’ve had to work waiting tables. Valentine’s Day is considered a holiday in the service industry and we’re blocked from being able to ask for the day off. This hasn’t been a problem the last two years so I gladly took the hours and made a little money.

People aren’t big tippers on Valentine’s Day. It’s sad.

Valentine’s Day 2018.

I, by some stroke of luck, ended up with the day off. I didn’t question it and gladly kept my mouth shut about it so no one could question the oversight if there had been one.


I decided to make the most of the day.

I made some breakfast reservations at Disney and planned a day at Magic Kingdom.

Originally, I was going to be flying solo for breakfast but my friend Kevin was able to join me at the last minute. It was a lot of fun especially when I realized that the host was sitting all the gay people in one section. I’m sure it was luck of the draw but it was really funny. Kevin and I were the only non-couple.

Regardless, we had a great time as it was the first time we’d had a chance to catch up in a while.

After breakfast, we parted ways and I headed to Magic Kingdom.

For some reason, people find it weird that I’m able to spend a day in a theme park by myself and have a good time. This sentiment is brought up often, loudly and to my face.


Truth be told, I’m often not by myself too long when I’m in the parks. I always end up running into people I know, spending a bit of time with them, and then parting ways.

Perfect way to do it really. Less pressure to keep everyone happy.

This was the case today and I ran into folks here and there as I wandered around the park. I also spent some time writing which was great. There’s something really awesome about sitting down in front of a castle and writing a book.


Fun fact: a good portion of You’re Doing It Wrong has been written in various Disney Parks including the parks in California.

I ended up in the park longer than I thought I would be because I was having so much fun. I also kept my social media updates at a minimum for the same reason. I was just really enjoying the day. I had a few gifts leftover from the last big Give Back to Disney Day so I handed them out here and there. Normally I would take pictures of the cast members receiving them but I opted to keep it simple today.

I will say that the only bad part of the day was there sheer number of proposals that I had to endure watching. Five in total. 2 in front of the castle, 1 in front of the partners statue, 1 at the flagpole and another on the train station.


I was tempted to go out to dinner but, as I’m trying to save money, I decided to “treat myself” by making some pasta. I’ve been trying to avoid carbs so this was a treat. I also snagged some cheesecake because I’ve been craving it lately. A wine I like was on sale, so I bought a bottle.


All said and done, I was able to have a nice dinner, dessert and wine for less than $12. Had I gone out, it would have cost more, especially if I wanted to drink.

My big treat today was breakfast and spending a day at the park. I haven’t been able to do that in a while and I really like it.

I was able to see friends I hadn’t seen in a while and was able to spread some smiles.

Now I’m relaxing with a glass of wine, the cats and The Big Bang Theory.

I’m exhausted so I think I’m going to be wrapping things up and hitting the hay soon!


6 comments on “I Can Be My Own Damn Valentine”

  1. Wine, good food and dessert, Big Bang Theory? Sounds like a perfect night to me! Love the post and can’t wait to read your book! 🙂


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