It Is Confirmed: I Am Still A Loser


I found $20 in the dryer today.

Well, no so much found since I knew it was in there. Kinda.

I accidently washed my pants with a bunch of money in them and the $20 was the one bill I couldn’t find when I half-assed looked for it.

Then I forgot it was there.

Then I found it today.


I was pulling out some work clothes and the first thing that fell from the dryer was the missing $20.


Then I was amazingly able to find all the clothes I needed in the moment without having to dig like crazy through everything in the dryer.

Surely it was a sign from the universe that my luck was running high this afternoon.

I decided that I would take that money and try my luck just a little bit more with a scratch ticket.


I had to return a Redbox movie and this little side-trip was going to put me at a 7-Eleven where I knew they sold scratch tickets.

So why the hell not?

I made a panic decision when I was looking at the tickets and bought two $10 “Holiday Cash” tickets because it felt fitting as I just got through getting ready for Christmas. I’m wondering now if that was a mistake.

I decided to wait until after work to scratch them so they sat in my car until after work when I could revel in my newfound wealth. This gave me a little time to dream.


What’s so funny is how my view on wealth and happiness has changed as I’ve gotten older. Back when I was in my twenties I would have dreamed of winning millions of dollars and quitting my job living a life of leisure and over-indulgence.

Not so much anymore.

Today I got to thinking about what would be the perfect amount of money to win. The ultimate top prize on the tickets was 2 Million Dollars or 1.6 million on lump payout. While that would have been an awesome thing but I would have totally settled for less.

My perfect amount?


That’s it.

I would really like $250,000.

What does this get me? A little bit of freedom and breathing room.

That covers my mortgage, pays off my car and zeros out credit cards. From there is covers some medical bills that have been looming over me. I have crappy insurance and things like my leg surgery and my stay in the hospital earlier this year weren’t covered. I’m paying for them out of pocket.

With all those things paid off that still leaves a little more than half of my winnings, around $60,000 to squirrel away and have a nice little savings.

I don’t want to stop working. I love my work as an educator and being able to teach all over the place and travel and meet new people. I love blogging and designing shirts and writing and everything else.

I would love it more if I was living to work rather than working to live.


That’s the dream.

So I got home tonight and took to scratching.

I had found a penny at work and decided that’s what I’d use to get the job done.

I lost.


On both the tickets.

Totally wasted that $20.

I’m not really all that mad about it.


I’m sure the people behind my hospital bill would have something different to say about that but I doubt they follow my blog so I’m pretty sure I’m safe.

In a week that hasn’t been the best it was nice to escape reality for just a bit, even if it was in my mind.

I certainly have a lot to talk about soon but for now I’ll stick to dreaming.

Unless anyone has $250,000 they want to send my way?


Keep dreaming big friends.

7 comments on “It Is Confirmed: I Am Still A Loser”

  1. Hahaha .. a bit too hard on yourself! But then again, i’ve spent quite a bit of time wishing someone would send $250K my way too!


      1. Hahaha .. Pity I think is the wrong way to go tho, then again .. stranger things have happened ! Best of luck .. wish you a million $ .. do wish me the same as well


  2. That’s the tricky bit, right? Because all it takes is that one winning ticket… nevermind the dozens or more that we buy looking for it?
    P.S. I found you via The Bloggess and I’m loving your blog!


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